You Give Me Heaven & Hell (a poem)

Amazing the things I write, post on Facebook and forget about. This was half personal, half about a scene in Personal Heaven that I decided to scrap. Anyway, I really love this poem and I hope you all do as well. Enjoy!

 

I’ve been over this before
Written a thousand lines or more
Saying that I love you, miss you, blah blah blah
I never intended for it to be like this
My writing was supposed to be for me
Not you
But lookee here, I’m still writing about you
A million convoluted thoughts coalescing inside my mind
All of them contain the image that was you
Though we’re still close
We’re forever far apart
A little phantom haunting
That deep, dark corner of my heart
It’s not like I haven’t tried
To let go of you
To erase you from my life
I guess I never really knew you
You sure as Hell never knew me
But that’s all moot
Hell, I even dream of you at night
But it isn’t enough
I need to know we’re on even footing
After you made me fight w/ the one person I love most
I still give a damn
Doesn’t that say something about you?
Or does it just say I’m a good-for-nothing, as you hinted before?
Whatever it means, I don’t care
I see beauty in the sweep of your
Silky soft brown hair
I see Heaven in your eyes
Serenely blue like the skies
Perhaps the Tempter sent you to beguile me
And in falling for you I’ve
Surrendered myself to him
Forever forsaken by human love
And eternal happiness only found in God
But you’re such an angel
You can’t be a devil
We’re obviously not on the same level
You’ve entrapped yourself into a girl’s selfish lust
Try as I might I must
Not scream out that she’s not the one for you
She’s hurt you in a way I never did
But you forgive her time & time again
Why?
Am I just not that special of a lady?
If I’m not, that’s all right
But please tell me so I
Don’t have to cry myself to sleep tonight
I’ll always be here
Whether you want me to or not
This is an unworldly love
But I, in my unyielding naivete,
Embrace it & you
Wholly
With God’s blessing

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You Give Me Heaven & Hell (a poem)

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