I Was Wrong (a poem)

Takes a lot to know

When you’re wrong

No matter your reasons

Wrong is wrong

Rude is rude

And unforgivable

I know I have wronged

Lord, have I wronged!

My excuses are real, yes

But they sound so weak when I

Look back on the times I have said them

Over and over again

They play like a record stuck on the

Same old song

They burden my heart

As much as

The things I say

Can’t say “done”

I’ve done nothing wrong

Except, maybe, to myself

But I can forgive myself

That’s no issue

I feel like I go too far

Then I don’t

Then I go further

Testing the limits of

Those I loves’ patience

Which is probably running so damn thin by now

But I really don’t know

What to do to

Change

I’m trying

God knows I want to change

But the pills don’t help me

The doctors are quacks

I hate to say this

But I think my prayers are even in vain

Because God can’t help me with this one

I have to help myself

Like my own twelve-step program

But not because I drink

I don’t drink (well, maybe a little blood ha-ha)

But I am who I am

I can’t change all at once

Like a shape-shifter

But a mind-shifter

I’m trying to change

I really am

But first I need to complete that program

I need forgiveness most of all

An understanding that

I am trying

I don’t mean the things I say

I am scarred

Lord, I am scarred

But scars fade

Wounds heal

Hearts harden themselves

I can fix this

I can be a new person

Just first

Please

Forgive me

Surviving Undeath (a poem)

Breathing in your air

Seems like I

Suffocate

Whenever you’re not there

Which, increasingly happens now

Feeling you in

My heart

Hearing your blood beat

Feeling your heart pump

My vampire

Tasting the salt on your skin

Biting, breaking the vein

It’s macabre beauty to mortals

But, to us

It’s just simply

Survival

But I enjoy surviving

When it means that I am

Surviving on your blood

Your breathe

Your words

Every particle of your

Existence